Monday, May 26, 2008

reaching for the stars

Remember the saying 'Reach for the moon because if ever you fall, you land on the stars.' Well, that's bullshit.I now agree with my friend who believes that people should never expect. If you don't expect to get anything out of something, then you wouldn't feel bad if you don't get anything. On the other hand, if you expect then you don't gat anything out of it, then you'll just feel bad.

I remember my philosophy teacher telling me that being an optimist or a pessimist will not benefit a person. We should be realists and look at what is at hand. We should not look at what might happen in th future. Hay... to be a realist kills the joys of optimism... yet it saves you from the disappointments of optimism as well.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A year later...

I was listening to the soundtrack of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It's just weird that even if that was almost a year ago, I can still remember most of the blocking and everything else. I remember that I found out I was getting the role I wanted when I was in Bolinao trying to start my thesis and looking for corals. It was exactly one year ago, I wasn't able to go to my friend's birthday party because I was at the beach. All four of us (B, M, and O) were nervous we wouldn't get the roles. And then the text came, WE GOT IN.

Two months later, I have performed in the play that would probably be my last. It was the play that I cannot get over and it was something I wanted everyone to watch. It was a play I was proud to share to everyone. I've worked with the best possible cast for that play.

... decision period ...

A year later, which is now, I'm sitting in front of my computer. I'm currently in med school. I gave up a lot of things for this. Sometimes, I still feel the urge to perform, be in front of people and share a story to them. There's a whole different feeling when you perform. I don't want to say I regret going to med school because I don't. It's just that it's hard to accept the fact that there are things that I could be doing but I had to sacrifice them to do some other thing. Sacrificing sucks. However... NO REGRETS.

bday schmurtday

A few days ago, I went to this birthday party and as usual I got drunk. That, however, is not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is this:

At the latter part of the party, the celebrant, who has become like a sister to me, started crying and saying things like 'you're leaving us na... we won't see you anymore... you'll be in med and you'll be too busy... you'll have a life as a doctor and you'll forget us.' Wouldn't that just kill you. Imagine your younger sister saying things like that to you. Damn. All I could do was hug her and tell her that everything she said wasn't true. Of course, we won't see each other that often but we will still see each other and I'll never forget her.

When I was interviewed for asmph, they told me that I wanted to please a lot of people. They said that in reality, we can't please everyone and there will be a lot of times when we'll be disappointed with the results. All I said to them in reply was this, 'I know that I will not always get the results I want, but the important thing is that I tried to achieve that result.' More often than not, when we try, we can get something that is close to what we wanted. It might not be the exact result, but at least we get something almost like that.

Trying is the best part of life because it is only when we try that we experience, we grow and we become more human. Nobody said that keeping friendships, being successful in your job, or having a good relationship with your family was easy. But that is the challenge, even if it isn't easy, we just have to try because getting half of what you wanted is better than getting nothing.