Tuesday, April 10, 2007

it's time

I realized I'm of having to be always happy or at least pretending to be. All I wanted was for people around me to be happy. But when they start being asses and backstab you, what's the use right? I do not like being the kid anymore. No one takes the kid seriously... for everyone, he's the person who is fun. But who is the kid if that fun was lost? The kid is no one. The kid's identity lies in his fun factor. I'm tired of acting in real life. Time to grow up.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

wanting to be more

In the book I was reading, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, there was a scene where this young boy was shouting at her mother. He was shouting because his mother was saying that his dead dad's spirit/memory was in the coffin. But, the boy refused to believe this and told his mother that his dad has already disintegrated and has turned into dead cells... cells that can be inhaled and exhaled by people without even knowing it.

Then, I thought about it. What if he was telling the truth? What if we just become dead cells and there was no spirit at all? After thinking about it, I realized that I wanted the fact that there was a spirit and that there was something more than my body. I refuse to believe that I am just a combination of different types of cells that combined to form my body. I do not like the fact that my whole person is finite. I want to believe that there is an afterlife and that I am more than my body. I want to believe that after I die, I would still be able to exist even if it is only partial. Nothingness is not an option... because if it is... what's the point of living this life.

It's not about the fact that I may or may not believe in God. Rather, it's all about the fact that I WANT to believe that there's a God. I want to believe that I am more.

Friday, April 06, 2007

compromise

Most of the time, you do not get what you always want. You can force yourself to get it but end up falling short. So what do most people do to satisy their hunger? They find a compromise. That is the answer to most problems in this world. The only problem is that people do not see it as a solution because it seems weak for someone to just give up on something he/she truly wants. I had to write this because I now know that I will never get everything I want. Yeah, it took me this long to realize that. I just had to stop believing in such cliches as: "follow your dreams," "nothing is impossible," or whatever cliche you have deep down in your pocket.

People give inspirational stories of how they became successful. From rags to riches is what some people would call their life story. But when you think about it, how many people actually achieve that?? How many Lucio Tan's or Henry Sy's or Gokongwei's can you have? Not that many. So we have to compromise. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that there is no hope in this world. I still believe in luck just as much as that construction worker lining up with hopes of winning the lottery. But let's be realistic, luck is an occurence that does not happen daily. We still have to work hard just to earn a living. The point here is, everything in this world is a compromise. My parents want me to be a doctor? I want to do theatre? Well, I'll just be an anesthesiologist so that I will have a lot of free time.

Just like anything, friendships are compromises. We can't be friends with everyone or at least be equally close to everyone. Some people will disappear from our lives sooner or later and some will stay. That's the compromise we have to take. We can't have everything. That's life.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

this is just hilarious

This is an example of how the friendship of the bobets really works. Shet, you gotta love these people. And we obviously love each other... I think we have surpassed being carino brutal. Hahaha.

Bym: whuts the soulful song of justin timberlake?
Jay: eat yourself... or eat the bobets?
Jay: alive
Jay: so cannibalism
Jay: another song
Jay: ung title
Bym: eat the bobets.. at least i know u guys will be in me
Bym: :))
Bym: i see i see
Bym: :))
Jay: i don't wanna eat my friend
Jay: kadiri ka
Jay: o cge...
Bym: hahaha
Oli: mga choices niyo eh
Jay: remove ur left eye or remove ur right eye
Jay: :))
Jay: for both of you
Jay: what will u choose
Jay: :))
Bym: uhhmm
Bym: left eye
Bym: cuz mas mataas yung grade
Bym: :))
Jay: wahahha
Jay: labo
Jay: hahaha
Jay: pangit na choices un
Jay: hmmm...
Bym: lose an arm or a leg
Bym: :))
Jay: leg
Jay: coz may wheelchair
Jay: at least pwede pa ako mag-ym
Jay: kung may arms ako
Jay: :))
Bym: kill oli or kill aye
Bym: :))
Jay: oli... lose you fingernails by pulling them off done by somone who tortures or chop ur hands pero done by a doctor
Jay: go oli
Oli: may wheel chair naman
Oli: uhm...
Oli: lose a leg
Jay: iba na choice mo
Jay: hahha
Oli: omg
Oli: omg
Oli: omg
Oli: NO
Oli: ouch
Oli: nafeel ko yun lahat
Jay: hahaha
Oli: i have a very vivid imagination
Jay: no ung isa may anesthesia
Jay: kasi doctor ung gumawa
Jay: pero wala ka nang arms
Jay: ako kill aye
Jay: :))
Jay: ikaw bym... kill oli or kill aye?
Oli: uhm...chop hands
Bym: hahahaha
Bym: oli
Oli: then commit suicide
Jay: hahha
Bym: :))
Bym: ooolliii
Bym: :))
Jay: oli, papatayin ka ni bym
Oli: shucks
Oli: sige ok lang
Oli: i love aye
Bym: kaw oli..
Jay: ikaw oli... kill mian sab bym me or aye? u have to choose 3
Bym: kill you or kill aye?
Bym: i bet sab and aye will survive
Jay: ikaw rin bym, kill mian sab oli me or aye? choose 3
Bym: :))
Jay: :))
Oli: NO
Oli: kill myself
Jay: and u hafta choose 2 others
Jay: dapat 3 people will die
Oli: me, you, bym
Oli: para you guys can use your one-way ticket na
Oli: and i can start my cleansing in purgatory
Jay: okay, the theory is correct... bym and i will always be the first ones to die
Jay: are we that useless?
Oli: no
Bym: hahaha
Oli: masarap lang kayo patayin
Bym: yeah
Bym: just cuz wer men
Bym: tsk
Jay: ako i'll kill mian aye and sab
Jay: coz they will go to heaven
Oli: and plus...sayang one way ticket to hell eh
Jay: well... aye sa purgatory coz bitch siya kay...
Jay: :))
Bym: :))

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Cool Cool


I was playing with it and I found it to be real cool. Yehey! That's the kleek with bym sab oli and me.