Wednesday, June 28, 2006

so what now?

When the goals that you have have wanted to achieve for yourself disappear, you realize how shallow you are. You had a lot of mini-goals for yourself but never had an ultimate goal. Then, you suddenly feel empty. It's as if your recent past and future is one strip of film that would connect each other where each frame is the same. The only option for you then is to cut the film again and connect it to something better. If not, your whole life would be one big repitition.

So what now?

I need an ultimate goal soon. I am bored with just about everything.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

poem of a stranded dude

I cannot believe I was tricked by those fools
who said it is hard to live alone.
I am stranded and yet, I am happy.
The only things I need are the basics.
No people to put pressure on what I do.
I do not need to dress to impress or
to socialize to expose me to a world full of sadness.
I wish no one saves me.

P.S. I finally have my own island.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

a struggle for survival

I need to pour out the negative emotions I have,
So I try to write to release it from my system.
But it never helps because I am constricted
by the rules that come with writing.
It is that or I am constricting myself
by making it seem like there are rules to writing.

I need to get out
of myself.
Help.

alcohol

It's funny when you experience moments which you never imagined you would be experiencing. You make fun of those people who make fools of themselves because they have just taken in so much. But when you are the one doing it, it does not seem that stupid at all. You have fun, you loosen up, and you dance to the beat. The taste itself makes me want more of it. Then, that feeling of being buzzed just makes it much more sweeter.

I have been drinking non-stop and I am currently on a hiatus. I plan to do it for at least two weeks. I had a bad experience lately and I just do not plan for it to happen again. I think I am no alcoholic. I hope I am thinking right because I need to control it.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

you brought this upon yourself

I have a three-page letter waiting for you. Just tell me if you're brave enough to read it. I take back what I said. It was not just my fault because it was your fault as well. I also do not want to be civil.

I suggest that you pretend that I do not exist for you because you do not exist for me. You will only exist if there is no other option. I doubt that this will ever be fixed because you made the issue grow. You just made it your fault.

Friday, June 02, 2006

three straight days

Okay, I've had three straight days of inuman sessions with people and I like it. The first was when two friends of mine were bored enough to stay in the parking lot for 30 minutes. They did not have anything to do so they texted me. I'm like the guy you text and 99.9% of the time, I'm game. It was last Tuesday and I had and exam the next day. But I really didn't care. This is not me being irrespnsible. It just so happens that I'm confident about my exam for the next day. Anyway, they picked me up and we decided to eat at Gerry's in greenhills. Niggaboy then proposed that we try the beer tower. So we did. Haha. Mayonnaise was pretending to stop us but she drank anyway. We finished three liters of beer. Woohoo. We went to the KTV after because we wanted to sing. Wahahaha. I danced and Niggaboy has a video of it. Great. It was fun. I did well on my exam by the way.

The next was Wednesday when my friend G invited us to embassy. I was with the Bio peeps and it sure was fun. There were 12 of us. Everyone looked good. We started at around 1030 by going to M cafe and started drinking. It's funny when you see people getting drunk in their first drink. Haha. We headed for Embassy after and we just dranked and danced the night away. We ate at cafeteria after and we headed home. I got home at 5am so I went straight to sleep.

I woke up at 1pm and Hokhok texted about going out. So I texted Niggaboy and asked if he was going. It seemed he was. He was gonna pick me up in 10 minutes. So I rushed. Wahaha. We headed for Mayonnaise's house to pick her up. We headed for Xavier, then Ateneo, then Enderun. Waaahh... I'm envious. I wanna study in Enderun. Oh well... We headed for E-lanes after to meet with Hokhok, Damiana, and Ozne. We had a team battle and Niggaboy, Mayonnaise and I lost to them. Oh well. We headed for Dulcinea after to eat. I like the churros. Then, we played in the arcade. That was really fun. Haha. After that something funny happened with Ozne. Bwahahaha.

We were supposed to go home but it was too early. So Niggaboy, Mayonnaise and I decided to head for Moomba. We had a few drinks but I wanted more. Wahaha. Okay I think we all felt buzzed. But I was more buzzed than them. Great. I lost my wallet in the process. That sucks. We went home and I had fun. :) Can't wait for next week. Hehe.