'tis the season

Optimism. It's that word that most people tend to forget during this Christmas season. Everyone seems to be down in the dumps and do not feel Christmas anymore. They think about the things that make them sad and this usually brings more depression. Some think of the relatives and friends that they miss, while some worry about how much they have spent for the season (and they're trying to find ways to gain it back).

Nonetheless, we should still be optimistic. Heck, this is the only time we get to have an excuse to spend and give other people gifts. And yes, we get to receive gifts also. But beyond all these things, there is that sense of HOPE which makes everyone feel better about themselves during this season. That's all I have for the serious part.

Anyway, this Christmas season has been more than unusual. I have just finished with POC (I'm glad that's finished... no more stress and hello social life) and to top it all off, I got my payment na. Whoopee! Then, another new thing is that I'd be buying gifts for different people. Shopping for gifts here I come! Lastly, the dinner (Circles or Le Souffle) with the Bobets would be that icing on the cake. I can't wait. :D

that dream

I have been so pessimistic about my life that I always believed that bad things would happen if they're given an opportunity to happen. Well, I could say I was optimistic about school but when I got home, it felt like my energy has been sucked out and entropy would just happen. It was so dark and I did not care.

But after having that dream I realized that I really felt this certain way. I've always said that I'm okay with my parents being seperated since they seem like it. Then, I had a dream where in that really happened. All I can remember is that I felt so bad that I cried and got this umbrella to go out and soak myself in the rain. But of course I did not use the umbrella. I woke up feeling so bad and realizing I wanted to change. I wanted to hang out with my parents and just have fun with them. This is the perfect season.

I want to change. Optimistic Jay here we come. Things will get better... woohoo!

a little inspiration

I think I want to be Catholic. Yes, I am Catholic but I'm only such because I was born one. But after thinking about it, I realized that I have been so adamant about my own religion to the point that there was no way it was going to win against other religions. I was biased in such a way that I did not want Catholicism to be right. But then after thinking about it, I realized that I would want to love my religion. My friend told me that 'how can you love other religions when you have a hard time loving your own religion.'

It was, in a way, an easier path to take. Just change your religion 'coz it was the most convenient. But I do not want to take that road, I'm inspired to stay the way I am. I'm inspired to believe... and all thanks to people younger than me. I never imagined I'd stay with being Catholic at the end of the day. It feels good.

a night with the crew

There are just moments in ones life when you would love to sit in the Bellarmine field and just talk with your friends. I say this because I just found it very relaxing to sit with the bobets in the Bel field last night. You just talk. You know that feeling when you can stay there for a long time without any worries and just chill. Aaahhh... it feels so relaxing.

After all the hustle and bustle of everyday work in school and theatre, I somehow needed some time to just chill and stop for a moment. I needed the world to pass by me and not the other way around (me passing by the world). There was that feeling inside of me that made me want to: feel the moist grass, hear the Christmas Carols being played in the Gesu, smell the bibingka being cooked in front of the Gesu, look at the stars twinkling in the night sky, savor the company of the bobets (aka retard, pangit, bobo, and care bear).

There are just moments in our life. And last night, it was the moment of Simbang Gabi in Ateneo. Haaay... it makes me feel good to be alive.

updates from my world

school: Can you please end now? I promise to do better after the Christmas break ends.

theatre: My current production is about to end and that means that I would be idle for a month before my next audition. Woohoo. It's been a tiring production but I have to give it to them for giving me experience. I got half of my payment. First paycheck... woohoo! Anyway, being in seperate productions, the Bobets Crew have realized they are attached with each other.

friends: I haven't been hanging out with some of them but I have been constantly hanging out with the Bobets. The Bobets rock! I'm gonna miss them during the Christmas break which means that we hafta go out during that break (Christmas dinner). We watched a TA play last night and we hated and liked it at the same time. It was good but it was too long. Haha. Anyway, the Ateneo is so beautiful at night.

The loser is back from Canada. David just called me the other day to tell me he's back. Yey! It would already be cool to hang out even just for one day since we're kinda busy. Woohoo!

FREAK-ing tired

This month is just so tiring. I feel like I'm one of those zombies in Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Why would I say that? Well, it's all because I feel like I have no energy at all and I always want to sleep during whenever. All I know is, I'm freaking tired.

This is how a typical day works. I wake up at 6:30 to arrive in school for my 7:30 class. Then, I have classes 'til 4:30 or 5:30. After that, I meet up with Bym to go to Makati for rehearsals. We get take-out from McDo and then rehearsals last from 7pm to either 11pm or 12pm. Then we go to McDo again to eat (coz we're freaking tired and hungry). Then I get home at 2 to wake up at 6:30. I feel so dead right now.

Next week, we'll be having rehearsals in CCP already. That's going to be exciting and tiring. Hay... I shall take rehearsal pictures next week. Woohoo!

P.S. I learned from Jill that Rep Phil. is having auditions for their new musical on Feb. Woohoo! Can't wait for that. Booya! :p

amats at last

Woohoo! I finally got to drink after two weeks. I was so thirsty I couldn't wait. Anyway, I went to cantina yesterday with the Bobo crew. We were supposd to drink but it ended up with Me and Bym finishing 3 pitchers of Zombie. The bobo crew weren't in the mood except for the two of us. Then it was off to the Fort with Karen. We ordered some weng-weng which I also had to finish 'coz the others didn't want to drink na. Issa and Annie were kinda late. Becs was early and drinking beer agad. Wahaha.

Anyway, I got amats agad at 12. So I had to go home. Woohoo! Wednesday ulit. My turn to mix the drinks. :p

messy no more

Last time I wrote here, I had a dilemma on whether I should push through with HSM or not. Well, I didn't. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make. I was already in the callbacks room learning the song and when the clock struck 5:50, I knew I had to leave. I had to go because I had another rehearsal for another play (which I have already committed to). I gave my music sheet to someone else and told him I had to leave. To add insult to injury, one girl commented 'are you serious? you're passing up this chance.' Damnit! Do you think I want what I'm doing?! I kinda have no choice you know.

Anyway, the results were out and only 2 of us in the group got in. Phew! I feel good now since I would have quit anyway because I didn't have anyone to hang out with. There are more productions next year. Oli, Bym and I have agreed to do Rep workshops for summer. Exciting!